Distant Fields
by Threya Midnight
Summary: "Tokiya-kun! If I became a successful idol, promise me that you'll only look at me!" She joined the business because of him. But stardom was too bright, and so she completely forgot about him. Even then, "I'm here for you, no matter how small my existence is." An AU where Nanami Haruka is an idol, and Ichinose Tokiya was her fan and a wannabe composer as well.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes: **So... rather than updating my other work, I'm creating a new short series. Well, actually this was supposed to be just a one-shot but it became _too _long for a one shot so I gotta divide them. I think this would only be 4-6 chapters long...? I'm not sure yet. But I already know where I'm going.

* * *

><p>Distant Fields<p>

Chapter 1:

How they met

They first met on a hot summer afternoon.

Blue long bangs unflatteringly stuck on his forehead, making him look more of a nerd than he usual was. His thick circular glasses stayed loose on his nose. His sweat-drenched shirt felt disgusting against his skin. His blue jeans felt too hot for his taste, he regretted not grabbing that ugly khaki shorts his mother gave him as a present during Christmas, but sadly he was in a hurry so he took whatever clothing he could find from his closet, completely forgetting about his comfort. His old black Converse squeaked as it rubbed against the hot-summer pavement, ignoring the way his laces were untied completely. It was a miracle that he didn't trip on it.

The bluenet stopped for a moment, taking out the blueberry ice Popsicle from the convenient store plastic bag. He ripped the plastic using his teeth, pulling out the delicious treat and shoving it in his mouth with no finesse before tossing the wrapper back in the bag. He actually had another one in there, a strawberry-flavored one, but decided to eat it later on when he arrives at his secret hideout.

You might be wondering where this so-called 'hideout' is.

Well, it's just an old children's park that was a few blocks away from his home. It was so old; he wouldn't be joking if he described it as 'ancient'. It has been there since he was in nursery. He was already 13 years of age, and you can guess that the park was obviously worn out. Most parents forbade their children from playing here, for all the 'rides' are rusty and dangerous because no one dared to repair it. And with that, this place was completely forgotten by almost everyone and most people called it as 'haunted'.

'_Haunted_,' The bluenet scoffed as he lick the cold dessert.

But he didn't forget. This will always be special in his life. Even if his classmates found him immature for hanging around such place, he didn't care.

It was the only place where he can be himself.

He continued walking, until he arrived at his destination. He turned and was about to enter its premises when he found a being inside his paradise.

That park, his 'secret hideout', was currently occupied by someone.

He gasped loudly, taking a quick step back as he hid behind a tree before the intruder could notice him. His felt his knees weakened and he pathetically fell down on the ground. He placed his hand on his chest, his heart was beating uncontrollably. Cheeks were flustered, could it be from the heat or from surprise that he was not sure himself.

You might think he was over-reacting. But it couldn't be help. This boy was a rather… shy individual. No, calling him 'shy' was an understatement. He was an extreme case of an anti-social and it was because of the constant bullying he received at school. If he were to choose, he would rather not attend that so-called 'place of learning' and instead lock himself inside their house, living his life as a hikkikomori.

But sadly, his household is more chaotic than the outside world.

He angrily gritted his teeth, clenching his fist. He wanted to scream; he wanted to tell that invader to get out of his property! He wanted to punch a tree and scare that person away, just so they would leave him alone.

'_But sadly_,' The bluenet sighed. '_I think it would do me no good to have another person added to the list of people who despised and wanted me dead._'

He crawled away in defeat, knowing immediately that this was a losing battle. There was no point even if he tried; he would just turn more of a laughing stock than what he already was. Anyway, he already knew that the thought of trying to tête-à-tête with other people would get him nowhere. If they hate him because of whom he is, then he'll let them know that he hated them more. Every single one of them are the same, all of them are just a pain in the-!

… Until the heard the sound of guitar strumming and a sweet and syrupy voice singing.

_Kaigan wo midasu kaze suna no oshiro wo tsukuru, kodomotachi_

_Mousugu sono yume no tsuzuki ga kitto mireruwa_

_Tenshi ga iruno kumo no hashigo ni anatatachi wo mamotte_

_Kanashimi subete wa shiranakute iino mada_

Blue eyes widened. Automatically, he found himself standing up in order to get a glimpse of the owner of that innocent voice. He was even more shocked to see a girl who looked much younger than him, strumming the guitar as she comfortable sat on the worn-out swing. She had red-haired that was tied in a bun, which made him wonder if it was her natural hair color or not. Her face was pale white, free from any make-up and all those girly crap. Her eyes were close; she looked so serene as she continued singing the song. She was wearing a red blouse, pink thigh-high, and pink flats. He couldn't help but take note how beautiful she looked even if she was trying to keep her appearance simple and glamour-free.

Also, he couldn't help but gape at her lusciously pale legs. What was more appealing was that she had her legs crossed to support the guitar, her skirt slightly hiked up and he could see a little bit of her striped panties.

_Yukimashou nakama tachiyo ano sora wa dare no kuni_

_Mai agaru tamashii atsuku_

_Risou no sobani chikazukitai_

She made one last strum before ending the song. Long lashes fluttered open, revealing golden orbs that reminded him very much of a cat's eyes. Those stunning eyes widened, for what reason he did not know.

"Hello."

It took a moment for him to realize that she was referring to him. Her speaking voice was also soft and gentle; it was somehow refreshing to hear rather than those squealing pigs he heard back in his elementary school. He blinked, pointing at himself, mouthing 'me?' The rosette chuckled, covering her mouth with her hand that she used to strum a while ago.

'_Of course he was referring to you, you idiot!_' He shouted internally.

"Is there anything you need from me?" She softly asked.

He gasped, thinking of what he should reply. Well, he was just planning to leave when he just heard a nice voice and the sound of a guitar and so couldn't help but check who—

Wait a minute.

Blue eyes dilated in horror, he was caught staring like a pervert!

Immediately, he spun his heels and scurried away like a rat running away from a cat. She continued calling behind him, but he completely ignored it.

That was abominable! The bluenet huffed, face was red. He continued running even if his knees felt tired from exhaustion, he was not an athletic person so simple exercises like this was too much for him to bear. I would not be surprised if a rumor has spread across the neighborhood that I am a debauched boy stalking a poor innocent girl!

* * *

><p>When he arrived back to his house, he did not say any polite words such as 'I'm back'. He knew that his father was drunk and stinking with the smell of cigarettes, making out with a beautiful prostitute back in the kitchen. He was oblivious to his son's arrival, he also didn't care. But when he forgets the time and his wife who was exhausted from work arrives, another fight will ensue. And if he was drunk enough, he would beat his wife as if she was the one at fault for breaking his fun. This cycle has been continuously repeated in this household, every single day when he arrives in this dreaded place called his 'home'.<p>

Call the bluenet a pathetic son for not telling his mother about his father's traitorous ways, disloyal to her when he doesn't do anything when his father beats her up. He tried it. He tried stopping this from the day he was able to walk and could speak in his clumsy infant tongue '_Tou-sama stop hurt 'Kaa-chan_, until the age of 10, when his father decided to share his anger with his son, telling him if he did this again; he won't be able to walk after the next beating.

He went straight to his room and firmly locked it with its 5 padlocks. He turned his computer on and after that he plugged his electric keyboard that his mother bought when he was once again, the top of the class, and switched it to life. He took the MIDI wire from his table and connected it on the instrument as well as his computer. He comfortably sat on his computer, starting up the program he used to compose a song. He grabbed the headphones lying on his computer and positioned it on his head. After the program finished loading, he heard a gentle voice shout 'I'm back' at the front door.

He already knew what's going to happen; he immediately opened one of his projects that he had been working on profoundly. He braced himself and started counting.

_3_

"You good for nothing—" A voice that sounded so kind a few seconds ago sounded murderous, so loud it passed through the thick walls of his room.

_2_

The prostitute screamed as a plate was thrown to her face.

_1_

While the man yapped at his wife in slurred speech, "What the fuck do you think you're doing?!"

_0_

Before he could hear the reply of his mother, he was trapped in the world of music and a blanket of comfort wrapped around his body, assuring him that everything would be alright.

After an hour when he finished his composition, he assumed that the war outside was already over, he remembered the strawberry Popsicle inside the plastic bag. Call him stupid, but there was a part in him the hoped that it was still frozen. He took the bag that was messily thrown on the bed before pulling out the wrapped-popsicle. Without a word, he tore it open and a disgusting pink sludge fell on his pants.

It was melted.

* * *

><p>The next time they met, she was the one that saw him first.<p>

It was sunset, the whole place looked as if a kid decided to play around and throw orange paint everywhere— but in a good way. It wasn't that hot, it was cool actually. He was sleeping on the small rotten slide when—

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeey!"

… Someone shouted at him. His eyebrows that naturally gave him this 'mean look' were currently furrowed, making him look as if he wanted to murder someone. Eyes were bloodshot; he wasn't able to sleep last night because his parents were making more of a ruckus than usual. He rose up from his position, looking for the owner of that voice who dared ruin his sleep—

There in front of him was a girl with short red-hair, creepily smiling at him like a scientist planning to dissect his experiment.

Blue eyes widened, he jumped in mortification and he fell down from the small slide, face first. He groaned, rubbing his sore front. It wasn't such a great height, but that doesn't mean it also didn't cause him great pain. He turned around, trying to have a better look of the girl who scared the shit out of him. He immediately glared when he realized who it was.

"_You_." He snapped back venomously, the petite girl was taken aback.

Of course, he didn't plan to sound so menacing. He tried to sound a little, but his 'little' seemed to scare most children and most of his classmates tell him he's a snarky asshole. But it didn't matter; he doesn't care about what they think of him. He—

"You know," She pouted, he couldn't help but notice she looked kind of adorable. "It's bad manners to leave suddenly when someone's talking to you!"

He stared at her, unable to comprehend what she just said.

"Um… okay?" He shrugged, climbing back on the slide. "What do you want me to do?"

She turned red in anger; small delicate hands were place on her hips.

"You are such a rude man!"

"I know." He nodded in agreement. "Now little kid, I don't know what you want from me but—"

"I am not a kid!" She declared, slightly offended by his words. "For your information, I will be in middle school this coming school year."

"Right. And I have a yellow Lamborghini and fucking Lady GaGa's drives me to school."

Golden eyes widened. "_You do_?!"

He shook his head in disbelief; he lied down again, ignoring the girl who claimed to be the same age as he.

"Hey, if you're so mature," She made a big emphasis on the word 'mature'. "Why are you hanging out in the middle of a children's park?"

He sat up once more to look at the rosette. He analyzed her from head to toe; he couldn't help but be astounded by her question and might actually believe her that they're on the same year level.

"I didn't say I was mature."

"Well, you _implied_."

He was _very_ impressed.

"So what are you doing here?" She asked. He couldn't help but raise an eyebrow, why is she acting as if they were friends

She skipped towards the swing, only did he realize that she brought the guitar again today. It was placed on top of the swing, understandable because who would want their guitar case to be defiled by a muddy and uncared for playground soil. She brought out the guitar and started playing, he wondered if she was planning to let him speak in the first place or if she knew that he wasn't planning to reply.

He lied again on the slide, feeling sleepy with the beautiful melody she's playing. He assumed that it was her original composition for he has never heard of it before. Just as he thought that his eyelids were going to fail him, she started singing. Eyes immediately sprang back to life and he couldn't help but listen to her attentively.

_dare mo nai heya de hitori _(It's just me – here, in – this room, – all alone.)

_shizumu taiyō o nagameru _(I sit, stare – out at the setting sun.)

_futo osowareru samishisa ni _(Overwhelmed – by a sudden – floating loneliness,)

_kuchizusa melody _(I sing a MELODY.)

_namae no nai sono uta ga _(This Nameless Song will go, – and fill up the room,)

_boku no kokoro o sotto tsutsumu _(wrap around – my little heart, – a gently soothing tune.)

_darenimo kikareru kotono nai _(And no-one else will lend an ear – to this simple hum.)

_boku dake no uta _(But it's – mine, it's fine – for one)

She stared humming softly, making the same sound as the instrumental of the song.

The bluenet couldn't do anything except watch her silently, moved by such a simple yet sad song. Her composition and his composition are different by a huge degree, but there was something similar in their works: it had sincerity and sadness in them. He didn't know what her life and real personality is, but he's willing to see more of her to find a deeper sense from song.

After one last strum, she finished. The rosette peeked at him expectantly, waiting for his reaction. He wanted to say that it was beautiful, wanted to ask him she was inspired to create such heart-warming song. But sometimes, he doubts his mother that he was really a prodigy because sometimes he does stupid things that just came out of nowhere.

Just like now.

"This is my secret base." He said in a blunt voice. "You're intruding, get out of here."

_What the hell?! _The bluenet made the scream face in his mind and he was pretty sure he crumpled to the ground when he saw the hurt look the red-haired made after hearing what he said. His mind probably remembered her question before and he couldn't help but sputter out his answer.

_Way to go on 'wanting to see more of her'…_ A voice inside his head said mockingly.

This is one of the many reasons why people dislike to plain despise him. He tends to say hurtful and harsh words out of nowhere even if he didn't mean it. He had this dark, depressive aura that usually scares the heck out of other people and his tone always seemed too proud and superior to the point that even adults felt offended by his nature.

He waited for the worst reaction that he can elicit from giving a bad impression to a person he just met. He waited for equally harsh words, insults and all the other hurtful things he heard from the people around him.

'_Ah, why am I even trying?_' He sighed. '_They'll just hate me anyway because of my personality_.'

But instead, the girl became as red as her hair. She immediately stood up and placed her guitar on a black guitar case on her side. Suddenly, she started apologizing in such a high-pitched voice he couldn't help but compare her to a noisy baby rat.

"I-I-I am sorry!" She squeaked, her voice an octave higher. The zipper of the case made a crunching sound as she pulled it close. "My family just transferred here so I don't know much about this place! I didn't know which place I can go and which place was already taken. I didn't mean to barge into your personal area like this. _Pleasedoforgiveme_!"

The bluenet raised an eyebrow. Her… personality changed completely. It was as if the person talking to him now was different from the girl who popped out of nowhere and started harassing him. It was the first time he met someone that was equally jittery as he was. Except, he tends to sound cold and cruel while she sounded as if one mistake was going to take her life and now she's begging for forgiveness, saying her words in one go to the point she was barely understandable. He couldn't believe that she was this calm girl who was singing openly in the middle of a park a few seconds ago.

"I… it's alright." He turned away, though his voice still sounded cold. Her sudden change of demeanor somehow took him by surprise. "It's not like I own it or anything."

"B-but…" Those attractive eyes looked at him, as if it was seeing right through his soul. The bluenet, who was really uncomfortable when people looked at him, immediately flinched. She gasped, looking away as well as covering her eyes. "I am very very sorry if my eyes are disturbing you. I did not mean any harm with the look I was giving; my eyes are naturally like this. Please do forgive me, I really am—"

"Stop that." He growled, but it was just supposed to be a sigh. How it turned this way, that he didn't know. "Don't apologize."

She blinked, before looking down at the ground. "People told me that my eyes are offending." She whispered.

"Well," The boy rolled his eyes. "They're jerks. I think your eyes are pretty, they're the ones who are offending for saying such harsh words."

_Says the boy who just said something equally rude a while ago._

"Really?" Eyes widened, slightly embarrassed by his compliment. But immediately the cheerfulness faded away. "But why did you react like that?"

Finally, he looked at her. Though it was painfully hard for him, he tried his best to make eye contact.

"I just have difficulties with people looking at me. Usually, all they give me are scorns, which made me look away because it got stuck inside my mind that people would only look at me poorly. So even when people give me kind looks, I either automatically make a face or just turn away. Most people I met find me offending. And if you got hurt because of what I did," Finally, he broke down and looked away, scratching the back of his head. "I'm sorry."

She smiled gently at him, shaking her head.

"I'm not upset." She said. "To tell you the truth, I was shocked that someone came forward to bother reply to me when I talk to them. In the countryside, people would turn away in disgust calling me a 'freak of nature'."

He sighed.

"I guess both of us are easily judged by the people around us."

The rosette chuckled and nodded in agreement.

"So," He hummed softly, it was the same song she sang just a few minutes ago. "Why did you come here again?"

Shyly, she looked down with a blush on her pale cheeks.

"I…" She hesitated before continuing. "thought you'd be here. And I was right."

He blinked. "You were looking for me." He said it like it was more of a statement rather than a question.

She timidly nodded.

"Why?"

"I… thought we could be friends?"

He deadpanned, wondering if she was being serious or was just joking.

"Excuse me?" Did she realize that she sounded like a 7 year old?

"Because you looked like you're the same age as I so…"

"We don't like we're the same age."

She completely ignored his slightly insulting statement and continued. "But then you told me to 'get out of here' so I thought you didn't like me and my music and so I got scared and…" She stopped, realizing that she was starting to babble aimlessly.

"I noticed," He said. "That you're way of speaking changed. At first, I thought you're the same as those stupid girls at school who are nosy and imposing, but suddenly you sound like the shy type out of nowhere."

"This is my real personality." She whispered, quivering. "In my old school, I had no friends because of my personality. But then, I noticed that strong and brave girls tend to get more friends… so I tried to imitate some anime that I watched. I thought I could pull it off, but it seemed like…"

She sighed.

So we were the same. The bluenet noted. We are lonely people who only needed friends.

"Say," The boy said, for once in his life he was making a decent conversation with someone without unintentionally saying something snarky or sarcastic. Well, he already did but she easily forgave him. "You said you're new here. Want me to show you around when I got the time?"

"Y-y-you would do that?" She asked, really surprised. It seemed that rarely did she receive any kindness from anyone that she reacted like this; to the point it made him feel slightly annoyed. "For someone you only met?"

"'For someone I only met for the second time.'" The bluenet corrected.

Once again, she ignored it. "Why would you do that?" She asked curiously.

Why oh why indeed, he himself did not know the answer. Was it because he was interested with the song she just sung? Was he curious about her musical capabilities? Or was it because he felt that they had the same situation, that they are somehow, oh how cheesy this sounded even to his own ear, connected? Either way, he kept it cool and replied in a monotonous voice.

"Why not?"

It seemed like his explanation didn't matter, or she was just too happy to find a friend as soon as she transferred here in Fukuoka. She smiled at him, eyes slightly tearing up in happiness. She let her guitar down on the floor and headed straight towards him. He arched an eyebrow, wondering what she was planning to do when she gave him her hand. Blue eyes widened, surprised at the sudden friendly gesture.

"My name's Nanami Haruka." She grinned cheerfully. "Pleased to be your acquaintance, neighbor-san!"

He looked at her hand for a few seconds before reluctantly shaking it.

"Ichinose Tokiya." Was his quick answer.

"Tokiya-kun...?" Haruka said his name as if it was a funny foreign word.

Tokiya blushed.

This was the first time that a girl the same age as him called him by his first name. It made him feel tingly for some reason. Was it._.. happiness?_

"Tokiya-kun. To-ki-_ya_-kun. _TOKIYA-KUUUUUUUUUUUUUN_-"

Okay, now she was just being annoying.

"Stop that." He growled, but this time it wasn't so convincing.

"I just can't help it!" She giggled. "You're my first friend!"

"In Fukuoka?" Tokiya raised an eyebrow.

"In my WHOLE LIFE!"

He choked on particularly nothing.

"What's wrong?" Haruka blinked innocently.

"Nothing." He whispered. _You just made it sound as if I'm special or something_. Tokiya shook his head. "What's the title of the song?"

It took her a moment before she replied.

"_Namae no nai uta_."

"Nameless Song?" He deadpanned. "Seriously?"

Haruka beamed proudly for her originality.

"… Weirdo."

"HEY!"

But sadly, a few days after that her mother filed for divorce. He was taken custody by his father, but Tokiya will be in the care of his mother during vacations. For the other half of summer, Tokiya was in Tokyo with his mother. He was also having a part time job so when he gets home he won't have to live with his father's money and as soon as he finishes middle school he could leave this God-forsaken house and transfer to Tokyo where he could live with his mother in peace.

He never thought of her once.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Notes: <strong>Thank you to BoyInMegane and xxXMythiaXxx for being my first readers and giving me suggestions! Sorry, Mia, but I intended the last paragraph to be really rushed. I just want you all to feel 'what the heck?' with this one!

Reviews, favorites and alerts are _always _welcome!


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Notes: **Wow, okay, guys I'm so sorry for the late update! I was really busy with school and all. Exams were HAAAAARD. Like seriously. I still have to take 3 exams on Monday because I fell ill on the third day of exam. Hehe.

**Beta's Notes:** Yo!~ xD I hope you enjoyed the new chapter Threya-san made! *puts her arm around the said author* She worked hard on it! Right Threya-san?

**A/N:** I did my 3000% on this! Haha. Anyway guys, I found a Beta Reader! Thank you very much harukananami321 for beta-reading this :) Give her a hug!

* * *

><p>Distant Field<p>

Chapter 2:

Little Child of the Night

Ichinose Tokiya's mundane middle school life started, much to his relief, without any unusual delays or interruption.

Obviously, all of his classmates back in elementary finally grew up and became sensible when they reached middle school. They weren't as childish as before as to pester him why he always smelled like cigarette smoke or why he has dozen of bruises across his body. They weren't that annoying as before, they don't comment about how "_scary Ichinose-san's glare is_" or how "_intimidating he is_". Even if they did, they were smart enough to do it behind his back or not gossip about him while he's close to their vicinity.

Well, he still doesn't have any friends. Most of the students were all afraid of him, and he didn't want to socialize anyway. But thankfully, they weren't isolating him like the way they did back in his elementary days. When there was any group activates, they actually join him and help him in planning. Unlike before, they just throw all the work on his shoulders because he's the "smart one" while they play outside. When they don't understand something in class, they would go ask him, though reluctantly. He would help, but after accommodating them, he ignores them and goes read some books or something. They didn't complain, they got what they needed and that's what matters.

Compared to his elementary days, this was _heaven_.

Much to his mother's (as well as his) dismay, Tokiya has been taken custody by his father. And as mentioned before, the poor mother and her child could only meet during the boy's vacation or special holidays. But according to the judge, once the bluenet finishes middle school, he'll be able to live in Tokyo with his mother. Even though his mother wanted to get more of the custody, his father had more money to support his son than she does.

After all, he's the spoiled son of some famous politician. He gets his money without even working for it.

_Only three more years._ He would tell himself every time he returns back from school, only to be greeted by the smell of cigarettes and the moans of his father.

"Oh, fuck… Lick it some more!" His voice would echo across the house, much to the bluenet's annoyance. "Fuck it, you bitch! I'm not paying you to give me a half-assed blow job!"

Tokiya sighed, taking his shoes off and placing it on the shoe rack. As usual, he headed towards his room and closed it shut. Locking the door with its multiple padlocks, he went to his study table and took out his homework from his bag and did it all. After finishing it, he 'rests' by connecting his musical instrument to the computer and composing another song.

_This was his everyday routine._

But today, something different happened.

It was about dawn when he finished his new project. His throat felt parch after continuously singing and finding the perfect tune for his song. Even though he's not really a singer, he'd rather not want to have a sore throat the next day. So before it can cause any damage, he headed towards the kitchen to get some water.

Much to his joy, his father as well as his prostitute was gone.

_Probably having sex in his room_, he thought.

He went to the glass rack and took a glass before opening the fridge. As usual, there was nothing inside the refrigerator except a pitcher of water as well as his medicine. With a sigh, he took the pitcher out and poured his glass full. He returned it back to its rightful place before taking the small bottle of anti-depressants instead. He opened it silently and popped a pill inside his mouth before drinking his water.

Maybe because of the side effect of the medicine or he was just too tired that night, he felt a sudden throb in his head. Automatically, he clutched his head in discomfort. In that moment of distraction, the container accidentally fell from his hand. Shards of transparent solid scattered along the kitchen, liquid splashing all over the floor. Blue eyes widened. He immediately panicked; eyes flew towards the hallway, awaiting the angry voice of his father, already foreseeing another beating from him.

Each second that passed felt like an agonizing hour as he waited for his doom to come.

After 30 seconds, he did not hear his father's booming voice nor did he hear any footsteps. He sighed in relief, his father must be out of the house. Thank God, no one would be there to scold him.

Afraid that his father might arrive any time soon, Tokiya knelt down and took the shards by his bare hands, doing the job with no difficulty. Even though he's the son of the son of a famous politician, he isn't a spoiled child like what you expect him to be. In fact, he's the one who does the household chores since his father was too busy with his… affairs.

He sighed. At last he was done. He headed towards the trash bin, only to slip on the wet floor. Thank goodness, he managed to catch his balance and didn't fall. But alas, clumsy was Tokiya, all the shards of was sent flying to the air. And according to Newton's law of Gravity, everything that goes up also goes down.

On that particular moment, it rained glass inside the Ichinose kitchen.

_It would have looked pretty_, Tokiya thought. _If only those glass shards didn't attack me_.

Through some sheer miracle, one glass stabbed him on the wrist. It was not deep, but it was enough to make him bleed. He stared in awe, wondering how it managed to land on his body of all places and at the red liquid dripping down from the lacerated skin. Rather than pain, he felt an intense shock of contentment.

"It's bleeding."

.

.

.

_One week and a half after school started…_

The bluenet was reading a book as he walked to his classroom. This might be dangerous to normal people, but he was far too skilled in this technique so there was never a time that he got into an accident. Anyway, there wasn't any sane person at school who would dare bump him or block his way. Just his mere presence would send all the students scurrying away and allowing him to pass, freedom from any barricade of some sort.

"Um, hello?" A nervous voice shouted amidst the noisy school hallway. "You left something!"

Tokiya continued walking, completely oblivious to the voice calling him. He was far too intoxicated with Murakami Haruki's _1Q84_ to bother with his surroundings, and no way in hell was he stupid enough as to leave one of his possessions behind. And so he continued walking.

… Until he felt someone pull the hem of his uniform, a breathless voice behind him. His feet automatically halted, shocked that someone _dared_ to do that to him and equally surprised that it really was him who left something.

Mechanically he turned around, already preparing his coldest aura in order to make that person back away from him. But before any harsh words could escape his mouth, blue eyes dilated upon seeing the person in front of him, his voice trapped inside his throat.

"Um, excuse me." She panted softly, handing him a piece of paper, which in reality was an old handmade bookmark. He assumed that she might have run after him just to return his belongings. "I think this is—"She didn't even finish her sentence. Golden eyes twinkled in recognition; a wide smile appeared on her lips.

"Haru-chan!" A voice behind her shouted, it was distinctly high-pitched so it was obviously owned by a female. A few meters away from them was a girl with long red hair, who seemed as if she ran after the rosette after she followed him. "I told you didn't need to give it back. It's just a stupid paper—Oh, _shit_. It's—"

"Tokiya-kun!" Haruka greeted, shocking both the newly arrived red-haired as well as the bluenet. "It's been a long time, how are you?"

Tokiya heard the tall red-haired girl whispering to Haruka '_you know him?_' while she nodded with a smile. For some reason, the people around them were starting to stare and were whispering about them. But honestly, he couldn't care less. He was just shocked that out of all Junior High Schools in Fukuoka, they happened to study at the same school.

.

.

.

After school, they headed towards the old playground. Why? They didn't know themselves; it just seemed like the best place to talk. Unknown to them, this will be their "meeting place" starting from this day on.

Upon entering its premises, Tokiya couldn't help but close his eyes and inhale its old playground-y scent. He has been separated from this place for only two months and a half, but it seemed like decades for him. He immediately noticed small changes in the place, like how the grasses grew two inches and three centimeters taller. And there's a new nest on the sturdy Sakura tree that's months finished from its blooming time. A few feet away from the swing, a small forget-me-not bloomed. He found it odd, though it bloomed on the right season; it just seemed unlikely for such a flower to bloom in such—

"Mou!" Haruka pouted, stomping on the old playground floor. This act immediately made the bluenet stop observing the playground. "You could've bid farewell before disappearing from the face of Fukuoka for the whole summer!"

"I apologize." He said insincerely, raising his eyeglasses only for it to fall back to where it was placed. "My mother took me with her in Tokyo for the whole summer."

"Why?" She demanded. "Tell me why you left without even telling me."

"It's not like I have any obligations to."

Haruka staggered a few feet away, hurt by his words. "But we're _friends_! Of course you have to tell me!"

"Since when?"

The rosette dramatically fell down to the floor.

"Since you offered to show me around the city!" She shouted, animated tears falling down from her eyes.

Tokiya rolled his eyes, disinterestedly watching the rosette sob like a gross child.

"Fine." He said in defeat.

Golden eyes widened in delight. She stopped crying; instead she sat patiently on the swing and patted the seat right next to her. The bluenet followed begrudgingly and sat right next to her he did.

"My parent's had a divorce." He said as if he's just talking about the weather, the brightness in Haruka's eyes immediately disappeared. "My mother took me in custody for the whole summer but my father won the case so I had to go back here in Fukuoka. Happy?"

When he turned to face her, he was surprised to see her crying.

"Hey, Nanami-san…?" He sweat dropped. "Why are you—"

Tokiya found himself trapped in an embrace, his face buried on her—should he emphasize, _non-existent_—chest. Blue eyes dilated in horror, blood rushing up to his face. He tried pushing her away, but this only made her grip-lock tighter. With a calm voice, a voice he wouldn't have believed came from her, she spoke.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to make you speak of something so painful. I'm sorry for being inconsiderate of your situation."

There was a long silence between them.

The bluenet was completely flabbergasted with the situation. This… was the first time this happened. Well, he often heard from those old gossiping ladies telling him 'you poor child!' whenever he was asked why his mother was no longer around and he answers them out of being polite. Tokiya knew that they know about it, they just wanted to rub it some more how his mother left him to live inside his father's house.

But what he meant by the 'first time', this was the first time he heard someone apologize to him with this level of sincerity. She was honestly sorry for what she forced him to do, which normal people have no qualms doing so. Why was she so kind to him? This doesn't make sense; did she need anything from him? No, Nanami doesn't look like someone who does things because of a secret vendetta. She was being kind to him because…

_It was in her nature._

"You don't have to apologize." Tokiya said, though his voice was slightly muffled. "It's not like it's your fault why my parent's got divorced or anything."

"But I'm sorry for making you speak about something that must have been uncomfortable to talk to." She said, burying her face on his blue locks.

He shook his head. "It's alright. To tell you honestly, I've been waiting for them to get a divorce since I discovered the word a long time ago." Golden eyes widened, he noticed her reaction and laughed without any humor. "You must think I'm a horrible son, aren't I?" Haruka was about to deny his accusations, but he already continued. "But if you lived in a house where your father's a drunkard who's always telling your mother she's only leeching off his money, while your mother would quarrel back telling him their marriage was a complete mistake and the only reason why she's still here is because they had a child, which is you. While you, the poor pathetic child, would hide under the premises of your room, acting as if you couldn't hear any of their voices outside of your room."

"Tokiya-kun," Haruka frowned. "Don't call yourself poor or pathetic, the circumstances were out of your control."

"Yes, I know." He nodded. "But I couldn't help but blame myself for my mother's sufferings. I wish I weren't—"

"Don't talk like that!" She shouted, effectively shutting him up. Tokiya looked up, shocked that he was interrupted while he was talking. "Please, just don't!"

"But it's the truth." Tokiya muttered.

"No it's not!" Haruka shouted, tears flowing out of her eyes. "Your mother didn't blame you, didn't she? It was her _choice_. It was her choice to stay at that house and suffer all the maltreatment she received from your dad. Please don't say such things that you wished you hadn't been born. Because if you did," Her voice quivered. "You made her suffer all for nothing."

Tokiya was not an emotional person; he fact it was the polar opposite. But that doesn't mean he lacked those feelings, he was just good on hiding them. On that day, the jar where he trapped all his thoughts and emotions overflowed. And in front of a person he barely even knew, he bawled like a child until his eyes were sore and his eyes were five times squintier. Haruka was there, patting him on the head and telling him that it's alright.

And for once in his life, he believed in those words.

.

.

.

The next morning, Tokiya waited in front of the playground. A few minutes later, Haruka arrived.

They walked to school together.

All the while, their schoolmates were staring at them and whispering. Tokiya noticed that during the last time, they also did the same. Somehow, it was making him uncomfortable. Haruka, being the oblivious girl that she was, didn't notice them and kept mumbling about her best friend.

"You know, Tomo-chan is so nice!" She beamed proudly. "She was my seatmate on the first day of class and she was the first one to talk to me. Tomo-chan is so… Tomo-chan did that, can you believe it?! Tomo-chan likes to… Tomo-chan… _Tomo-chan_… Tomo-chan is the nicest person ever!"

At last, sleepiness decided to leave the bluenet's mind, he could finally grasp the words that Haruka was mumbling, and he noticed something.

"Tomo-chan?" Tokiya said, it was the name the rosette has been repeatedly sputtering the whole time. "You mean Shibuya _Tomo_chika?"

She blinked repeatedly before nodding.

"Um... yes? I've been telling you the whole—Wait a minute, _mou_!" She pointed an accusing finger at him. "You weren't listening!"

"I'm not." He admitted with a straight face. He then looked away, muttering to himself. "That's why people are staring at us. You're probably one of the popular kids now."

Haruka blushed. "P-p-p-popular?!" She hit him on the back, making him stagger forward. "Stop it you! I'm not popular…"

"But your friends with someone popular." He noted. "Doesn't it make _you_ popular, too?"

"What?" She tilted her head to the side. "What do you mean?"

Tokiya had the urge to face palm in public but was smart enough not to do so.

"Shibuya Tomochika. She's the most popular girl in school, or so I heard from my loud-mouthed classmates." He sighed, recalling all their chattering during dismissal. "She's apparently… _um_, some sort of model or idol… or _something_." He doesn't really care about the exact details. He just knows she's… _someone_.

Golden eyes widened. "Is that so?!" She clapped her hands like an idiot. "I didn't know that!"

The bluenet deadpanned. "And you call her your _'best friend'_."

Tokiya was sent flying towards the school gate when Haruka apparently 'hit him with her school bag', or so the witnesses said.

.

.

.

"Ne, Tokiya-kun." Haruka poked him on the cheek with the head of her pencil.

He sighed, adjusting his glasses as he flipped a page from his notebook.

"Please, Nanami-san. Focus on reviewing the hand-outs I gave you."

"But it's boring." She grumbled, stretching her arms.

"Sure it is."

The rosette rolled her eyes and returned back to her notebook and started scribbling.

"Please stop drawing."

Haruka slammed her notebook shut, surprised that the bluenet noticed.

"I'm not drawing…!" She protested.

"… Well then, let me rephrase my sentence." He flipped another page. "_'Please stop writing lyrics on your notebook_.'"

The red-haired girl pouted. "But I have a new ideaaaaaa!"

"Your idea can wait."

"_No it can't_!" She shouted a little too loudly, she was 'shush'-ed by the people around her. She withered back to her sit and looked down. "It can't." She whispered. "I might forget it later."

"Sure you will."

Haruka slammed her face on the table and groaned loudly. Once again, she was told to shut up by her fellow students as well as the librarian. She looked up and saw Tokiya smirking as he continued reviewing his notes.

"Why are we at the library, anyway?" She hissed. "Why can't we just study at the playground?"

"Because you'll get distracted there."

"_I get distracted wherever I go!"_

There was a pregnant pause.

"Point taken."

Golden eyes widened in victory, but it was too early to celebrate. The bluenet continued reading, ignoring the look she was giving him. She huffed in defeat and for once since they entered the library's premises, she did what she was intended to do here: to review her lessons. Tokiya peeked through his notes, smiling as he watched the girl study her hearts out even though a few seconds ago she was complaining like a 7 year old child.

A month passed since they got in contact with each other.

_A month passed since Tokiya found a friend._

Even though it was only a short amount of time, their level of closeness was too strong that you might have thought by the way they act, they've been friends for years. They got to know each other's sides that other people didn't know existed, and nor did they. For example, Haruka's now well-known in school not just because she's the best friend of the Shibuya Tomochika but because of her adorable clumsiness. They didn't know when but for some reason, she's been bestowed the title 'Fukuoka Middle School's Younger Sister'.

"Um… I can't really grasp the meaning of '_Fukuoka Middle School's Younger Sister_'…" Haruka laughed nervously, scratching the side of her cheek. "But it seemed like a fancy title so I'm honored to receive it!"

"It's because you're stupidly clumsy to the point that people wanted to take care of you, like how they would take care of a younger sister." Tokiya explained.

"_Mou_!" She shouted, "You make it sound as if it's a bad thing!"

But even if she's the 'younger sister' of their school, she could act like a mature older sister sometimes. Just like the time she comforted him while they were at the playground. Well, even though it was clearly her fault why he started crying anyway.

And for Tokiya, people around him believed that he's this sarcastic nerdy prick. Which in reality, he really is. But there's a gentle side in him ("_There's nothing like that in me_." He deadpanned. "_There is_!" She smiled, poking him on the cheek. "_You just don't believe it yourself_~!") that only Haruka can see. Because really, think of it. If he's such an asshole that most people believed him to be, would he even be with Haruka at the library, lending her his notes and guarding her to make sure she's ready for the exam?

"Ne, Tokiya-kun."

Blue eyebrows twitched. With shaking hands, he placed his notebook down and glared at the rosette.

"_You really don't know how to quit, don't you_?" He said, a dark aura emitting from his body.

The rosette laughed nervously, sweat dropping. "Just one last question!"

He raised an eyebrow, doubting her intentions.

"I'm serious!" She said. "I just want to ask something."

With a sigh, he nodded.

"Speak."

Ignoring the fact that he was treating her like a dog, she asked.

"Why are you studying?"

"For the exam, of course." He snorted.

"What? No!" She facetabled. "Ugh, what I meant was—"

"I'm just joking, no need to make out with the table." Haruka looked up and glared, Tokiya only chuckled. "I know you meant, 'what's my reason why I'm studying', right?"

She nodded, which was hard because her chin was resting on the table.

"Well," He followed her example and rested his face on the table, his arms supporting him. "I'm studying so I can get a good job and get out of here as soon as possible."

"What job?"

The bluenet raised an eyebrow. "You're unusually questionative, _okay is that even a word_, today?"

"Just answer."

He '_hmm_'-ed before replied. "Any white-collared job would do."

Haruka smiled. But it wasn't the usual cheerful smile she had on her face, this time it was… sad? It was as if she expected him to say that but there's this part inside of her that wanted him to say something different. She finally sat up straight, her hands on her lap.

"Do you think, when you grow old and wrinkly, can you honestly tell yourself 'I regret nothing' and 'I did what I think brought happiness to my wellbeing'?" She asked in a gentle voice, but for some reason, it sounded as if she was asking herself with this question. "Is that really what you want?"

Blue eyes widened. Haruka continued watching him with her golden eyes, waiting for his answer patiently.

That never occurred to him before.

He always told himself that he'll study hard so when he reaches adulthood, he'll have a steady job and a successful career. But now that Haruka mentioned it, will it bring him happiness? Will money make him happy? When he gets old and his grandchild would ask him 'Oji-chan, did you live your life to the fullest?'', if he followed such a path, will he be able to answer 'I did' with all honesty?

Slowly, he closed his eyes and rested his back on the chair.

"Of course not." He laughed without humor. "Who would want to rot sitting in front of a desk, signing a load of papers?"

She chuckled. "Sure you don't."

.

.

.

"Tokiya-kun," Haruka called as she sat silently on the swing.

"Yeah?" He answered, not bothering to look at her as he did for he was busy writing something on his notebook, which idly sat on his lap. He was sitting to the swing right next to the rosette.

You need not to be a genius to guess where they are. Of course, it was no other than the ancient playground.

"If you were given a job of your choice, what would it be?" The bluenet opened his mouth to answer but she added something. "Without worrying about your salary and all that…"

Tokiya finally stopped writing and looked up, his expression showed complete indifference.

"Why are you asking me this all of a sudden?" He said but as soon as those words left his mouth, his hands went back to writing on his notebook.

"I'm just curious." She said in a sing-song voice.

There was a long silence between them. Tokiya continued writing on his notebook, the sound of the lead of the pencil scratching on the piece of paper was somehow annoying to her ears. Just as Haruka was about to complain if he's planning to talk or not, he stopped.

"I want to be a composer." And without explaining why, he continued what he was doing.

Golden eyes widened, she looked at him with disbelief. Her voice got dislodged inside her throat.

Even without saying anything, Tokiya already knew that Haruka has plans to be in the music industry. It wasn't hard to speculate for a genius like him to come up with the idea that she's planning to join the music industry. It was easy just by looking at her notebooks which was always filled with lyrics and new composition, as well as her unusual enthusiasm during music class. But Haruka did not expect _him_ to have the same plans as hers, albeit not exact.

"That's… surprising." That was the only reply she could muster out after she got over the shock.

"I know." He hummed. "Most people told me I should be a doctor or something."

"No, what I meant was …" She shook her head, she realized a second too late that what she said might have sound a little offending. "I didn't even know you like music!"

Tokiya chuckled. At last, he set his notebook down and decided to look at her while they're talking. The rosette sighed in relief.

"Goodness, I was afraid that I turned into a hideous monster that you refused to make eye contact with me."

He deadpanned. "You already are." Red thin eyebrows furrowed, before she can say anything in an attempt to be offensive, the bluenet continued. "I don't like music, I _love_ her."

"Wow, even referred to 'it' as a 'her'. I need not to figure how much you love music."

He smiled. But it disappeared before it could even form properly, so it only looked as if his facial muscles only twitched. For some reason, the aura around him darkened. And the light in his eyes that usually appears whenever they're hanging out together disappeared completely. Haruka, who seemed oblivious to most things around her, was unusually quick to catch up if there was something wrong with Tokiya.

"Is there something wrong?" She asked, her tone dripping in concern.

Blue eyes dilated slightly; surprised that Haruka noticed his sudden change of mood.

"I just…" He looked at the ground, the heel of his shoes dug on the dirty playground soil. "remembered how my life used to be before I discovered music."

She tilted her head to the side and was about to ask what he meant by that when she remembered Tokiya's family. She immediately bit her lips and looked away.

Time passed and before they knew it, three months already passed since they became real friends. She remembered, three months before, on the _exact same spot_, Haruka made the Ice Prince Ichinose Tokiya cry like a baby. It was that day, that she promised herself that she would never allow anyone to hurt him, and that was also the day that she decided that she'll protect him at all cost.

As much as possible, they never talked about Tokiya's family. She never tried to push him to say anything, and she let him talk whenever he feels like talking. So far, Haruka's the only one who knows about what really happens inside the Ichinose residence. For she's the only one Tokiya trusts enough to confide all of the hardships he underwent by living in that house. Each time she hears his experience, her resolve to protect him grew stronger and stronger.

Unexpectedly, Tokiya continued.

"Music was my refuge. Music blocked all the noises from outside my bedroom. Music was there when my parents were busy fighting. Music was there and allowed me to be free." He paused. He looked at Haruka and gave her such a heart-felt smile that made something inside of her break. "Music was the reason why I managed to survive this long."

The rosette bit her lips, containing the sobs that wanted release. She looked away and wiped the tears off her eyes before the bluenet could notice anything. When she turned around, she forced her brightest smile and proceeded to change the topic. Because if he continued talking like this, she might not help herself and give him a hug like what she did before.

"Tokiya-kun, are there any particular idols or group that you like?"

His eyes glittered like those characters from a shoujo manga upon hearing the word 'idol' and 'group'. Haruka was slightly taken aback. And what came to her was a bigger shock when she saw a sight she had never seen before: the Ichinose Tokiya _fan-boying_.

"JWL48!" Tokiya shouted, standing abruptly as he fist-pumped like an idiot. "Definitely the best idol group in the whole J-Pop history! My favorite member out of JWL48 is Kuromiya Kurenai, or but we fans prefer so call her KuroKurenai, or KK for a shorter nickname! Every time she says her KK line, 'I love you nya~', I can't help but-"He stopped, multiple trails of sweat fell from his face.

He mechanically turned his head, only to see Haruka deadpanning at him.

"So," She clicked his tongue, making him jump a little. "Ichinose Tokiya-kun apparently likes those girls who do cutesy poses and do moe-moe dances, hm." Haruka tapped her chin, clearly amused. "Who could've known you're just like any other boy in school?"

With a '_hmph_', the bluenet silently sat back on the swing, embarrassed that someone found out about his fan boy side.

"Don't tell anyone." He whispered, his face was as red as a tomato's.

"You know I wouldn't." She laughed.

Tokiya laughed with her.

Of course she wouldn't. She's Haruka. He should know more than anyone as to doubt her.

"Anyway," Haruka stood up and snatched his notebook; the bluenet tried taking it back but to no avail. "What have you been writing here?" Tokiya protested but the rosette already opened the notebook and read what was written inside. "Is this…?" While she was busy scanning the notebook, Tokiya found a chance to redeem his possession back. "Hey, I was reading it!"

"I have eyes, you know." He rolled his eyes for emphasis. Haruka pouted in response. "It's not nice to take other people's things; neither is reading someone's work without permission."

"But I got curious!" She reasoned out.

"You're always curious." He pointed.

Haruka looked away.

"Point taken."

The bluenet chuckled and patted her on the head. He went back to his swing and stared at the page where Haruka was reading.

"But do tell me," Haruka peeked behind him, trying to get a glimpse. "Is that… a song?"

The bluenet blushed. She took that as a 'yes'.

"How long have you been composing?"

Instead of answering, Tokiya looked away. Haruka couldn't help but giggle at how adorable he was acting.

"Can you sing it for me?"

Blue eyes widened. He turned around, wondering if she was joking or not. But judging from the way her golden eyes shone, it was pretty obvious that she was 1000% serious.

"I can't sing." He whispered, but Haruka was too persistent. After persuading him for a complete 10 minutes, he finally gave in. "Fine." Haruka jumped in victory. "If you became deaf after this," He warned. "It's not my fault, okay?"

Haruka rolled her eyes. "Yes, yes. Now please stop talking and just start singing."

With one last miserable groan, he sang.

honjitsu no shukudai wa mukosei na boku no koto _(Today's homework is about me, with no individuality)_

kafusoku nai fujiyuu nai saikin ni ikite ite _(Not too much or too little, not inconvenient, that's how I've been living)_

demo doushite bokutachi wa tokidoki ni iya mainichi _(But then why is it that we sometimes- no, every day)_

kanashii tte iunda _(say that we're sad,)_

sabishii tte iunda _(and say that we're lonely?)_

kokuban no kono kanji ga yomemasu ka _(Can you read this kanji on the blackboard?)_

ano ko no shinshou wa yomemasu ka _(Can you read the mental images of that kid's heart?)_

sono kokoro wo kuroku someta no wa _(The one who stained that heart black)_

oi dare nanda yo oi dare nanda yo _(Hey, who did it? Hey, who did it?)_

soroban de kono shiki ga tokemasu ka _(Can you solve this equation on your abacus?)_

ano ko no kubi no wa mo tokemasu ka _(Can you untie the circle around that kid's neck?)_

bokutachi kono manma de iindesu ka _(Are we really fine, remaining as we are?)_

oi dou sunda yo mou dou datte ii ya _(Hey, what do I do? It doesn't matter anymore)_

After Tokiya finished singing, she clapped like a proud mother watching her son perform on the stage for the first time.

"Whoaaaaa!" Haruka clapped some more, the bluenet looked away in discomfort. "That was amazing, Tokiya-kun! I didn't expect you to be a rocker kind of person!"

"I'm not." He blushed, clenching his hands on his pants. "I just like rock-ish songs, that's all."

"And your voice!"

Tokiya withered, expecting the worst comment from her.

The two have been friends for a half a year. Throughout those months, Haruka would always share her new composition with him and would sing her songs with her sweet syrupy voice of hers. Even though the bluenet didn't say anything, he liked her voice. No, 'like' isn't a word to suffice his strong admiration to her talents. He loves her… music. She could be a professional through years of training, if she ever wanted to pursue music.

"You could be an _idol_!"

He blinked.

"Are you insane?"

Haruka furrowed her eyebrows, wrapping her arms around herself.

"_Mou!_" She pouted. "I even complimented you, and this is how you reply?"

"No, I apologize." He chuckled and shook his head. "I just couldn't comprehend where the heck you got the idea."

"But your voice!" She beamed. "I think you have more chance to be famous with that quality of a voice if you decided to be an idol rather than composer, right?"

"You do know it's not just talent in this country that makes an 'idol' right?" Tokiya laughed.

Haruka made a blank face. Which means yes, that's exactly what she thought.

He face palmed, he couldn't believe her level of ignorance.

"You need to have the personality, Nanami-san." He sighed. "So what if I _do_ have a decent voice," The rosette was about to protest that his voice was more than decent but he continued. "Do you think I can stand in the middle of the stage, singing and dancing while saying my idol catchphrase?"

Haruka looked up in the air. For some reason, she did think of something. It was Tokiya wearing a white attire, swaying his behind in front of a people with another blue-haired male.

'Dance & Dance!'

"Yup. In an alternate universe!" She suggested.

"Ahou ka… omae?" He shook his head in disbelief, wondering how he became friends with this idiot. "I'm not the type of person who likes to hang in crowd; you of all people should know that."

Haruka slowly nodded. "But why do you want to be a composer?"

"Because I can still express myself and the bonus is, I'm not the one dancing and singing in front of the crowd, making a fool of myself."

She raised an eyebrow.

"So you think JWL48 is making a fool of themselves whenever they perform?"

Tokiya vigorously shook his head.

"Of course not!" He shouted defensively. "JWL48 is different…!"

"Right." Haruka said, in that kind of tone people use just to humor the people they're talking to. This was unforgivable because it was always Tokiya who was doing this to her. The bluenet was about to retort when she called his name. "Tokiya-kun?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you plan to compose for JWL48 one day?"

The bluenet blushed. "_C-c-c-composed_ for them?!" He snorted like a perverted old man; Haruka couldn't help but back away. "T-t-that's a nice thought. I would love to do that… Hah."

And out of nowhere, Tokiya started hyperventilating over the idea. The rosette only watched him, forcing a smile as she watched her best friend get excited with just the idea of writing for his idol. For some reason, there was a tight pain in her chest. She was… _jealous_.

"Ne, Tokiya-kun!" Before waiting for his reply, Haruka announced. "I'm going to be an idol!" She stood up, stretching out her hands. "Tokiya-kun, if I become part of JWL48 and I managed to beat that KuroKurenai of yours that you idolize so much, promise me that you'll compose a song for me. Only for me and not for the group, okay?"

Blue eyes widened, shock at her sudden declaration. Well, actually, he foresaw the possibility a long time ago. But hearing the words from her mouth itself, it seemed unbelievable somehow. But really, the next set of words that she said was what startled him the most.

"Tokiya-kun! If I became a successful idol, promise me that you'll only look at me!"

Tokiya didn't know whether she was joking or not. But after a few seconds after giving her speech, Haruka burst out laughing. Though reluctantly, he joined her.

_She was obviously joking_. He said to himself. _Because if she was serious, don't you think you might considered what she did as a 'confession'?_

.

.

.

"Tokiya-kun…"

Tokiya raised his eyebrow, looking up from his work. Once again, he was writing on his notebook with a new song.

"What?"

"I think I got scouted by the manager of JWL48…"

Behind them, a flock of birds flew away, chirping loudly to the point it wasn't even soothing anymore. The bluenet stared at her, unable to comprehend the words that she just said. He even had to repeat her sentence again and again in his mind just to make sure he understand what's going. At last, when her words finally zoned into his mind, he abruptly stood up from his swing.

"You're joking aren't you?" He asked, his voice dead serious. There was a part inside of him that didn't want Haruka to joke around.

The rosette shook her head.

If Tokiya could describe his feelings right now, it would be something akin to _seventh heaven_. He was literally shaking in joy, tears were forming on his eyes. He bit his lips, _hard_, just to prevent a squeal of a fanboy from escaping from his manly lips. Even though he knew Haruka knows about this side of him, he's still embarrassed on letting other people see him like this.

"H-h-how...?" The excited fanboy managed to utter.

And with that, Haruka told him about what happened.

"I went to Tokyo last Sunday, remember? Because my grandma went to the Tokyo Hospital." Tokiya nodded, he indeed remembered.

Why would he not? Last week, the naive girl went to him with tears in her eyes, telling him that her grandmother's going to the hospital. She said that her grandma probably had a severe disease that she needed to go to the city, but it turns out she's only having her annual check-up. So much for planning her funeral.

"But when I arrived, my grandmother wasn't there to pick me up on the train station. So I decided to past time by doing what I usually do…"

"You played your guitar?" He continued for her. "At the train station."

She blinked multiple times before shaking her head.

"Oh, I tried looking for my Oba-chan and I ended up lost." She scratched her head and laughed warily. The bluenet face palmed at her stupidity. "I found myself in the middle of a park, just like this. Except it's newer and cleaner."

"Hey." Tokiya warned.

Haruka stuck her tongue out and continued. "And yes, I played my guitar and out of nowhere, a fancy looking man wearing a suit talked to me and asked me, 'Would you like to be an idol? To be part of JWL48, specifically?'"

"What did you say?" He asked, gripping his jeans in complete restlessness.

"I told him it was my dream. Then he took out this business card from his pocket and gave it to me." Haruka took something from her bag and showed it to him. "Do you think he's scamming me?"

He withered upon hearing the word 'scam'. He was too excited about the news that he forgot about the possibility that it might be a fraud. The bluenet sighed before carefully taking the business card from her hand. He eyed the piece of paper with much interest, Haruka was afraid it would bore holes. Tokiya wanted to believe that it was real, but it would be safer to not accommodate this scout. He loved JWL48, but the safety of his friend comes first.

"This event was too good to be true. Maybe it is a scam." He declared, returning the card back to her.

"You're right." Haruka nodded, but it was evident that she was disappointed. "Oh, I thought I could finally be an idol!"

Tokiya shook his head and patted her on the back.

"But try keeping it." He said, remaining hopeful. "It _might_ be the real deal."

The rosette could only smile.

.

.

Much to Tokiya's unadulterated confusion, upon entering his house, his father greeted him.

"You have a guest." He said, surprisingly sober.

He immediately ran to his room and there he saw it. Someone inside his room, sitting in front of his computer, wearing his headphones, and was listening to one of his project.

That someone was no other than Nanami Haruka.

The bluenet quietly closed the door behind him and went straight to the trespasser. With a sigh, he pulled the headphones off of her, his song blaring out from it.

"Please do tell me how you got—" Before he could finish his sentence, he felt a sharp sting on his left cheek. He staggered backwards; hand immediately went to his face. "What the fuck was that for—" He shouted angrily but stopped upon seeing her face.

Haruka was crying.

For what reason he did not know, but he will soon find out.

"What's the meaning of this song, Tokiya?" She shouted, more tears fell from her eyes.

She didn't even let him speak; she seized his arm and pulled his long sleeves up. Blue eyes dilated in horror, the scar, no, the scars on his wrist that looked like disgusting brownish lines, was currently exposed and open for show. Tokiya gritted his teeth and jerked his arm off, pulling the headphones and unplugging it from its place. The instrumental of a sad song as well as the computerized voice of Hatsune Miku resounded on the speakers, echoing across the room.

Shinitakute shinitakute sotto_ (I want to die, I want to die quietly.)_

Machigatte kizu wo tsuketa tekubi wa_ (The wrist that I accidentally injured before)_

Itsu shika chairoku yogoreteru_ (has now become stained with brown marks without my notice.)_

Shimekitta BOKU no mabuta_ (Since my eyelids are tightly shut,)_

CURTAIN no sukima ni asa ga kite mo_ (even when morning peeks in through my curtains,)_

Kidzuku hazu nai_ (there's no way I'd notice.)_

"Why…" Haruka clenched her fist, her shoulders were shaking slightly. "didn't you say anything? Why didn't you tell me you we're in pain?" She took his wrist drew lines on the scars, as if her touch could make it heal. "Why… must you do this to yourself?"

"Nanami-san…" He said, but he couldn't find any words to tell her.

"Tokiya-kun," She whispered, the bluenet felt warm tears on his skin as the rosette continued caressing his imperfections. "Have you ever thought that if you leave, someone would miss you? Someone would be grieving because you left them?"

"No one would grieve if I died." Tokiya answered almost immediately, as if on reflex. He immediately regretted saying it.

Haruka looked up, revealing blood-shoot golden eyes. He felt a sharp pang on his chest as her moist eyes reflected his face, showing his dead expression that was staring back at him.

"I would."

"Why would you?" Tokiya asked.

There was a long pause.

He expected her to say, 'because I'm your best friend' or 'we're schoolmates' or maybe the silliest but the most Haruka-esque reply was 'because you're going to be my composer when I become and idol, you can't leave yet because I still haven't debuted.'. But oddly, it was none of the above.

"Because I love you." Blue eyes widened in shock. Before he could do anything, Haruka trapped him a tight embrace, face buried on his lean chest. "That's why, don't do it. Please."

.

.

Before they knew it, a year has passed.

That incident inside his bedroom was never spoken of. Never did Tokiya ask why or how she got inside his room, nor did he ask about Haruka's sudden confession.

Actually, the day after that happened, she acted normal as if nothing weird happened to them last night. Tokiya did the same and decided to shrug off the matter.

It was the last day of their first year in middle school. They were about to part ways and will meet again after the vacation ends.

Tokiya was about to head home, back his bag, and head straight to Tokyo after school.

"Tokiya-kun," She called.

He stopped walking and turned around.

"What's wrong?"

Haruka smiled in reply.

"I contacted that person, you know, that man from month's ago?" He nodded. "I told him that I was ready, he told me that my training will start this vacation."

He opened his mouth, but no words escaped. He didn't know what to feel. Excited? Happy? Nervous? His feelings were in turmoil as if _he's _the one who got scouted by the agency!

"Ne, Tokiya-kun." Haruka walked up to him, hands on her back. This immediately snapped him out from his internal giddiness. "Do you remember our promised?"

The bluenet stared blankly at her. After 10 seconds, with Tokiya looking as if he didn't understand what she's talking about, Haruka frowned at him before shaking her head.

"That if I beat KuroKurenai, you'll only look at me?

Tokiya felt his throat constrict, for a moment he could barely breathe.

_She was serious… _He thought.

The first time he heard her say this, he was sure that Haruka was joking. He didn't even bother talk to her about it again because he was just _so _sure that she couldn't possible serious about what she said. But now, hearing her say this once more left a weird feeling in his body.

His sweat-dropped, nodding slowly.

Golden eyes widened, you can see how much her eyes were sparkling in delight. Tokiya was slightly taken aback.

"What about our _other_ promise?" Haruka asked.

Thankfully, he didn't forget this one.

"That I shouldn't commit suicide."

She smiled once more, but this time it was a sad one.

She tip-toed. "Good boy." She said and patted him on the head, though it was difficult because he was inches taller than her. "Because if you do, I might do the same."

Tokiya looked at her, wondering if she was serious or not. But her next set of words made him realize that indeed, _she was_.

"Starting from this day on, you're carrying two lives, remember that."

Before he could say anything, Haruka waved goodbye and headed home. Tokiya could only watch her back, soon her figure became a dot and later, she was no longer insight.

It was not until he arrived at Tokyo, when he realized something very important

He forgot to ask if it's the same for her.


End file.
